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A Brick Wall and a Spotlight

17 Mar 2003 by

Anyone hear any good jokes lately?

56 comments so far (Post a Comment)

17 Mar 2003 | fajalar said...

No, but I read one.

18 Mar 2003 | Johnny Rotten said...

Yup...the UN.

18 Mar 2003 | Johnny Rotten said...

Soory, tooeasy, I shouldn't troll like that

18 Mar 2003 | p8 said...

www.turdtwister.com

18 Mar 2003 | p8 said...

What's up with the American flag? Just asking.

18 Mar 2003 | Jonny Roader said...

Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?

A. The army.

18 Mar 2003 | jupiter said...

The Ambassador of Saudi Arabia meets George W. Bush at a charity dinner. They shake hands and the ambassador asks the president: "Mr. President, I have a question about something I noticed here in the United States..."

Bush answers: "Just tell me, I will see what I can do for you."

The Saudi whispers: "My son has seen Startrek and he noticed, that there are black and white crew members, Asians and even Russians - but no Arabs. He's angry about that and doesn't understand, why there aren't any Arabs."

Bush laughs, leans over to the Ambassador and whispers back: "That's because it plays in the future!"

18 Mar 2003 | Toby said...

Knock Knock

(Who's there?)

Ipe

(Ipe Who?)

*Giggle*

18 Mar 2003 | p8 said...

I'm losing patience with my neighbours, Mr Bush. By Terry Jones.

18 Mar 2003 | p8 said...

An older one:
OK, George, make with the friendly bombs. By Terry Jones.

18 Mar 2003 | JF said...

What's up with the American flag? Just asking.

We're American. It's war time and I choose to waving the flag in support of our country.

18 Mar 2003 | hurley#1 said...

Good, let's waive the flag instead of waving it.

18 Mar 2003 | JF said...

Whoops! Fixed.

18 Mar 2003 | Dirk said...

Why do dogs lick their balls?
Because they can.

18 Mar 2003 | Darrel said...

I think the flag over there is kind of funny.

18 Mar 2003 | Don Schenck said...

We took a vacation at the ocean when my son was only seven years old, and he brought his best friend "Harmon" along.

At the beach, my son INSISTED that I let him bring his new Legos down to the water's edge. I was reluctant, but let him.

Later, they were building a sand castle, and were using the little Lego men as soldiers to "protect our castle".

Well ... sure enough ... high tide's coming in and -- you know it -- a wave hits their sand castle and destroys it. My son managed to grab his Legos at the last second, but his friends' were missing in the puddle that was once their castle.

They called me over to help them find them. After looking for several minutes, I looked up at my wife and asked,

"Where, in the swirl, is Harmon's sandy Lego?"

18 Mar 2003 | Don Schenck said...

(I made that up all by myself!) :)

18 Mar 2003 | Toby said...

Very nice Don, reminds me of Spider Robinson.

Hey, is that flag the same one from the Cut on the Bias blog?

http://bias.blogfodder.net/

18 Mar 2003 | anon said...

Going to war without France is like going hunting without your accordion.

18 Mar 2003 | Jesper said...

Yay, the French doesn't approve of us killing millions of innocent iraqi instead of assasinating Saddam and all of his lookalikes! I know, let's declare war on them! No, let's nuke them! No, I have an even better fucking idea; let's rename french fries to freedom fries to prove that we're really as stupid as we look! Yay!

I mean, seriously. The corniness of some patriotic americans have reached an alltime high. It's Saddam you want, not Iraq and not France. Get over it.

18 Mar 2003 | B said...

The only thing that's going to kill millions of Iraqis is the long drawn out failed policy of containment.

18 Mar 2003 | Darrel said...

Why did the Israeli bulldozer run over the American?

(I don't know...I'm still waiting for the punchline...)

18 Mar 2003 | B said...

Why did the Palestinian suicide bombers kill Americans in Israel, and why didn't you bitch about it?

(I don't know...I'm still waiting for the punchline...)

18 Mar 2003 | jupiter said...

... and why doesn't anybody even mention it? not even an excuse that it was an accident ... imagine it would have been a palestinian bulldozer!

18 Mar 2003 | fasdffasdfasdfasdfadfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdf said...

What's brown and sticky?.... a stick.

18 Mar 2003 | Darrel said...

why didn't you bitch about it?

I don't think I'm really upset with the simple fact she was killed. I'm upset that we support only one side of that conflict, even though both sides are clearly murdering each other.

We want to go to war with Saddam because, what? He kills kurds? Yet when an Israeli army kills a US citizen, we do what?

18 Mar 2003 | B said...

Darryl, there's a huge difference between the killing of a single US citizen and the systematic mass murder of tens of thousands (of his own people). Accidents happen. The death of tens of thousands isn't an accident.

Anyhow, how about getting back to the topic of this thread? JOKES!

18 Mar 2003 | Darrel said...

Darryl, there's a huge difference between the killing of a single US citizen and the systematic mass murder of tens of thousands (of his own people).

Well, both Israeli's and Palestinian's have systematically killed thousands of people.

I'm not so sure how accurate the 'Saddam killed tens of thousands of his own' figure is either, do you have a source?

Accidents happen. The death of tens of thousands isn't an accident.

It's hard to see the bulldozer incident an accident. It's hard to 'accidently' run over a person that you see with your bulldozer.

Back to jokes?

Well, I guess I'm not in the mood. Sorry. ;o)

18 Mar 2003 | jokeboi said...

Any aggression against Iraq will make them (the Americans) regret their tragic fate and the wives and mothers of the Americans who fight us will cry tears of blood.Hahahahahahahahahaha! Good one Uday!

18 Mar 2003 | alisha said...

Im sad Ernest is gone.

18 Mar 2003 | JF said...

Ernest who? ;)

18 Mar 2003 | fajalar said...

He just needs to take time and come to an understanding of the importance of beaing Ernest.

18 Mar 2003 | really? said...

Did he quit or join the Al-Quaeda? The timing is all too peculiar.

18 Mar 2003 | alisha said...

Fajalar, I just read the jokes of your first post! so f

18 Mar 2003 | Steve said...

I just read the link fajalar posted too. I had the same reaction. And it's not wrong to laugh. Sometimes, it's the only appropriate response in the midst of so much crap.

18 Mar 2003 | Don Schenck said...

Yeah ... I miss Joe.

19 Mar 2003 | CK said...

What's the worst thing about eating vegetables?

Getting them back in the wheelchair.

...I can't stop thinking about Alisha peeing...

19 Mar 2003 | fajalar said...

alisha, I got the link to that in an email on Monday. So far about 10 copies have been printed and routed around here. Everyone has the same reaction. So there must be a lot of people needing a good laugh.

I like it because it goes with the topic of this post, but is also about informaiton design. I guess examples like this are why there aren't a lot of international symbols for things. Because if you can't read the text underneath the images on ready.gov, what are those pictures actually trying to tell you?

The timing of seeing this was ripe though. When Bush gave his "ultimatum" speech, and mentioned they would being communicating to the Iraq army about what to do to not get killed, I imagined the military dropping leaflets with images similar to the ready.gov ones. I imagined some Iraqi officer saying, "They want us to do what? Well, okay but I don't see how this will help."

19 Mar 2003 | David said...

"A Guide to Safety in Wartime" had me laughing so loud yesterday that a terrorist nearly found and performed magic on me!

19 Mar 2003 | briaN said...

i thought the girl was standing on the blade of the bulldozer and fell, thus killing herself. also, wasn't she burning american flags that very morning? i mean its a shame she died, but if she goes around burning american flags, i can't expect the us gov't to get pissed about her death.

btw, jupiter's joke is funny as hell

19 Mar 2003 | Darrel said...

i thought the girl was standing on the blade of the bulldozer and fell, thus killing herself.

She was standing near the bulldozer. Some say she slipped. Either way, the bulldozer driver was clearly able to see her.

also, wasn't she burning american flags that very morning?

She had at a protest in the past.

but if she goes around burning american flags, i can't expect the us gov't to get pissed about her death.

I can't believe you'd say a thing like that.

19 Mar 2003 | Darrel said...

Ugh. Sorry for comingling the quotes with my reply.

19 Mar 2003 | Don Schenck said...

I read that the bulldozer driver could NOT see her.

19 Mar 2003 | alisha said...

"...I can't stop thinking about Alisha peeing..."

it aint that thrilling, but, whatever rocks your boat...

"if you can't read the text underneath the images on ready.gov, what are those pictures actually trying to tell you?"

youre right. and theyre so delightfully corney.

"When Bush gave his "ultimatum" speech, and mentioned they would being communicating to the Iraq army about what to do to not get killed..."

oh yes, Im sure they shoot the shit on a daily basis. The Iraqi army must just savor those precious moments of insight and wisdom. Do you think they rally around the TV to hear his advice with a couple beers, like for the NFL?

20 Mar 2003 | Jess said...

I heard the girl was standing on the blade of the bulldozer, burning American Flags, and the driver tried to put the fire out by running over her.

05 Jan 2004 | marc said...

Happy new year to all of you

05 Jan 2004 | Tina said...

Happy new year to all of you!!

17 Jan 2004 | Arnold said...

This topic is one we will tackle later in this article, but it refers to making sure that your application and the dock aren't fighting it out for supremacy of the screen.

17 Jan 2004 | Quivier said...

For example, if you see an AIM window peeking out from behind your browser and you click on it, that window will come to the front, but the main application window will not. The Mail.app/Activity Viewer is another example. The Aqua system of layers works well in many instances, but not in all. Thank goodness that the Dock is always there to come to the rescue. I know that clicking on an application icon in the Dock will always result in not only the application coming to the front, but also any non-minimized windows associated with it. And if the application is active but no windows are open, clicking on the Dock icon should create a new window in that application.

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