So, I’ve been working on my first Gansta Rap album for a few years now. Problem isn’t that I’m not a gansta (just ask ML or SU — de’ll tell ya), it’s that I got writas blizock. I need some help. Here’s the chorus of my first single called “Who’s Gotz Da Bimmer, Who’z Gotz Da Bently”…
Who gotz da Bimmer, who gotz the Bently
Ya best not be axin’ which hoes sent me
Who gotz da Bimmer, who gotz the Bently
Cause, G, I gotsta have room when I’m rollin’
I know. It’s tha shiznit. Safe. Respect. But, that’s all I got so far. Can ya help me finish it up? And, BTW, in case you are wondering, my rap name is 99.99. Aight.
Who gotz da Bimmer, who gotz the Bently
Gunna run you down for sayin' shit 'bout me
Who gotz da Bimmer, who gotz the Bently
I earned my billz. Yo. They ain't stolen.
I see you frontin'your mom's K-car
With wheels like dat you won't go far
Them shorties like bling, which you ain't are
Though that bench seat's got style afar
Your tranny's shot, your muffler's low
Rollin on a spare you ain't got far to go
Homes, what could help, oh I know...
A "No Fear" sticker on your window
I blow by you in my Bently
25" rims is all you see
I take a left, that's where I be
Pull in to Hertz, return tha key
Man, once you start lyricizin', it's hard to stop. I gotta kick it again...
Yo ride ain't shit, my ride gotst class
You come up on me, I'ma cap yo ass
Ya'll hear me comin, bumpin my notes
You best not test me, or dats all she wrotes
Put in some "sucker MC's", they always seem to work. And you can't make gangsta rap without some "bitches" and "hoes".
Admittedly, these lines we're spittin' are pretty fresh, but in this case, i'd like to defer to Chuck-D:
"Cruisin' down the boulevard
I treated like some superstar
You know the time so don't look hard
Get with it - the ultimate homeboy car
All you suckers in the other ride
Wherever I'm comin' get you my side
My 98 is tough to chase
If you're on my tail - better watch your face"
Seriously though, why is it that suburban white kids want to be black so badly? Well, they don't want all of the trappings of being black, but they want the cars and the music and the gangster attitude.
I'm guessing they're just so jaded and bored that the "gangsta" lifestyle looks glamorous and exciting to them. Or is it just the MTV influence?
You probably know what I'm saying.
99.99? Wouldn't any respectable techie rapper go for five 9s?
99.99999!
Time to drop another lyric...
See my ringz as dey glide across the wheel
Dat bling'z how I got my shortie to kneel
I ain't saying my B 7'z da pinnacle
But bitches luv me, when my ride'z tank is full
Suckas be jealous coz my ride's fine,
tryin' to gank my shit?
you need contingency design.
you cant rhyme dawg and yo momma cant cook
yo car aint jack and yo skank cant fuck
try to drop bombs on me n its no use
yo rappin sounds mo like dr seuss
you just a baby g an this aint no battle
jus slip outta chitown in yo bently wit a paddle
dawg you gots a beamer? -- no you want
you gots a bently? -- no you want
was dat you drivin...?
85 ford fairmont
out
-- eccentric motherfuckin gardener
"99.99? Wouldn't any respectable techie rapper go for five 9s?"
Word. You gots to have a 9 for every brotha' you killed. So, I'm guessin it be somethin like 99.99999999. Ain't dat da truf.
You gotta wear a gold plated intelli-mouse around neck for "Bling"
Ah, another sucka MC.
Another one comin' up, with sleep deprivation
Salvation, of those who need no provocation
Of time-wastin', of trying to sound hard
And wanting feedback of the rhymes he is making.
First off, you gotta rhyme sometime; its the standard element
The building blocks, if you will, along with a complement
Of actual things to say, but that isnt to say that
Folks aren't getting by with little of either one.
And you best not start on that "bitches and hoes" kick,
Because the ladies nowadays aren't feeling that a bit
And even the real gangstas know, when they drop those bombs
That it hits not only THAT non-putting-out chick, it catches his moms.
You can be "gangsta" all you want, and it doesn't seem
The fact you've tried to ape just like the "artists" on eMpTyV,
Has soaked through, and who do we have to thank, huh?
Effing record execs providing white guys with a blueprint to be "gangsta."
Whose gotz da Bimmer, who gotz da Bently
Babys wit his momma - so the car seats emty,
Crank up da noise, bring up da funk
Throw Elmo in da mothaluvin trunk.
BwaH-Hahahahahahahaha
try some spanglish words
Who gotz da Bimmer, who gotz the Bently
I got them all, cuz I am Digital Donny
Who gotz da Bimmer, who gotz the Bently
I got them all, plus your mama's pussy.
HO is short for honey
jesus man, spam sucks ass...
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You know, being yourself needs strong person.
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Veni vidi vici that is your way
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