10 Mar 2004 | Steven Garrity said...

A device to heat foot by exciting molecules with radiation.

10 Mar 2004 | pb said...

A kitchen appliance that uses radio waves to cook food.

10 Mar 2004 | Matt Haughey said...

An oven that cooks food fast. Really fast.

10 Mar 2004 | pb said...

I mean "foot".

10 Mar 2004 | ML said...

A magical toaster that heats the water inside food quickly.

10 Mar 2004 | Brad Hurley said...

Energy beam hits fan, disperses, bounces off walls into food.

10 Mar 2004 | Jason A said...

Small home appliance which quickly heats food using radiation.

10 Mar 2004 | Scorched said...

open door
place food
push buttons
wait, beep
remove, enjoy

10 Mar 2004 | JF said...

A convenient, time-based oven that cooks food really fast.

10 Mar 2004 | One of several Steves said...

A few attempts:

A device that cooks quickly, but turns everything to mush.

One of the most overrated appliances developed in decades.

A device good only for reheating leftovers or for prepackaged "foods."

A device no serious cook would use to actually cook.

10 Mar 2004 | Dr_God said...

How about:

Convenient kitchen compartment that cooks cold culinary cuisine quickly.

10 Mar 2004 | sandor said...

Quick food re-heater

10 Mar 2004 | Don Schenck said...

A device that heats the outside of food.

:-)

10 Mar 2004 | Mike said...

Who's the audience?

"A device that heats liquid with microwaves, typically in food."

That'd be enough for someone who knows what microwaves are...

"An appliance that heats food quickly using radiation."

That might be better for a general audience.

"Lo qué cocina el alimento rápidamente con radiation"

That might work better for people who speak Spanish...

10 Mar 2004 | stp said...

Expensive popcorn popper.

10 Mar 2004 | Don Schenck said...

stp, funny you should write that ... because we recently gave up on microwave popcorn and have gone back to Jiffy Pop. Our continuing trend toward Slow Food.

Besides, Jiffy Pop is FUN!

10 Mar 2004 | James said...

An exercise in grammar:

Explain a microwave oven in 10 words or fewer.

10 Mar 2004 | Mark Fusco said...

A non-time taker, rubbery muffin maker.

10 Mar 2004 | Bill Brown said...

Cooking appliance that uses microwave radiation to cook food.

10 Mar 2004 | Andy Baio said...

All electromagnetic energy can be characterized as waves with a specific wavelength and frequency distributed over a continuous range known as the electromagnetic spectrum. For example, some radio waves have a wavelength of 6 feet (2 meters) and a frequency of 50 million hertz (Hz-cycles per second). Visible light waves have a wavelength of 400 to 700 millimicrons, and typical X-rays have a length of 0.01 millimicrons and a frequency of 30 x 1012 millions. Microwaves (short waves or high frequency radio waves) are the shortest of radio waves, with a length of 0.1 millimeter and a frequency of 3 x 101 Hz. They are found in the non-ionizing portion of the energy spectrum, between radio waves and visible light. "Non-ionizing" means that microwaves do not detach charged particles and produce atoms with an unbalanced plus or minus charge. Microwaves can therefore safely produce heat and not cause food to become radioactive. Microwaves are reflected from most metals but they produce inductive resonance's in the atoms of many other substances. It was the discovery of their reaction to metals that led to the invention of radar. It was their ability to produce resonant coupling that led to the invention of the microwave oven.

10 Mar 2004 | JF said...

Thanks for playing, Andy.

10 Mar 2004 | Matthew Oliphant said...

This seems more like an exercise in brevity than clarity.

"Better than fire, you can't see the radiant killing you."

"Electronic device heats objects with radiation. Film at 11."

10 Mar 2004 | Matthew Oliphant said...

Self-Contained Undercabinet Baking Apparatus

10 Mar 2004 | Noah said...

What's hard is if the person doesn't have the concept of heat being atomic motion, otherwise Steven aced it on the first post. Minus the foot.

Tho' I'll avoid using "radiation" since it often makes people think of ionizing radiation (radioactivity), so I'll dumb it down as:

"An oven that heats food using radiating waves of energy."

10 Mar 2004 | Amy Sakurai said...

focused energy
briefly dances within box --
my meal is warm.

10 Mar 2004 | RS said...

Microwaves heat food quickly by vibrating the food's water molecules.

10 Mar 2004 | Blake said...

it cooks food faster than an oven.

10 Mar 2004 | Dan Wood said...

A defroster that overcooks parts and leaves other parts frozen.

10 Mar 2004 | Harry said...

Fireworks display: just add metal: not included.

10 Mar 2004 | Don Schenck said...

Amy, marry me?

I just LOVE to read haikus.

You are just my type!

10 Mar 2004 | Mike said...

Invisible. Fast. Heat. Food.

10 Mar 2004 | Daniel X. O'Neil said...

remove plastic from potatoes and meat; yum.

10 Mar 2004 | aliotsy said...

Wonder of technology. Alien technology.

10 Mar 2004 | Slip said...

Electronic oven.

10 Mar 2004 | Quentin said...

Unexplainable magic which may or may not heat objects within.

Microwave's aren't just for food. A quick Fourth of July show can be had with 3 seconds, a microwave, and a bunch of AOL CDs.

10 Mar 2004 | Drew McLellan said...

Place the food to be cooked inside. Turn the dial.

10 Mar 2004 | Amy Sakurai said...

a haiku itself,
his response to my posting
fosters a smile.

10 Mar 2004 | Don Schenck said...

She sees my cunning! What a wonderful woman! Amy, you are cool!

10 Mar 2004 | but that's just me said...

All Amys and forms of Amy (such as Aimee) are cool.

As for the microwave:

Something to talk about instead of actually working.

10 Mar 2004 | Ed Hill said...

exploding hot dogs...
half frozen and half molten...
wal-mart, 35 bucks...

10 Mar 2004 | Mike said...

Confucious say, little box make chicken finger into hockey puck.

10 Mar 2004 | Brad Hurley said...

An imperfect cooking device for impatient people

10 Mar 2004 | kent said...

word word word word word An oven in which food is cooked, warmed, or thawed by the heat produced as microwaves cause water molecules in the foodstuff to vibrate word word word word word

10 Mar 2004 | Jamie said...

Very good at killing Gremlins.

10 Mar 2004 | Tom said...

A box used to heat food

10 Mar 2004 | Brad Hurley said...

In honor of the brief haiku exchange above, I just tried heating some sake in the microwave.

It works.

11 Mar 2004 | F.Baube said...

Like colored flames, photons signify energy jumps, warming watery food

11 Mar 2004 | Thane Plambeck said...

A device that will burn popcorn unless closely supervised.

11 Mar 2004 | Derek said...

A small oven that cooks food quickly without heating elements.

11 Mar 2004 | allen said...

it can't kill ants

11 Mar 2004 | Don Schenck said...

Kent ... excellent! Thanks for the chuckle.

11 Mar 2004 | Ian Olsen-Clark said...

Kitchen appliance. Not for drying dogs.

11 Mar 2004 | Ian Olsen-Clark said...

Kitchen Appliance. Not for drying dogs.

11 Mar 2004 | Todd Dominey said...

Kitchen appliance used for quickly heating food and beverages.

11 Mar 2004 | Arne G said...

Warms foods placed inside (select duration then start). No metal items!

12 Mar 2004 | Hadley Wickham said...

Cooks food. Can dry underwear in emergency.

12 Mar 2004 | Homer Simpson said...

Hmm... Warm!

13 Mar 2004 | joetrip said...

anything but tin foil

13 Mar 2004 | joe trip said...

anything but tinfoil

16 Mar 2004 | Peter S. Quinn said...

Cook fast eat slowly, - use Microwave to achieve that goal!

24 Mar 2004 | Ronald van der Wijden said...

Honey, nuke the leftovers; I'm coming home.

24 Mar 2004 | Philip said...

dangerous, noisy, ruins dinners by wobbling very small parts

24 Mar 2004 | adrian b said...

Excites food

24 Mar 2004 | Anja said...

hi! I am Anja from Berlin. ;-) Lastminute Reisen