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An almost great idea: Perforated Pizza

24 Jun 2004 by Jason Fried

Ok, almost great idea #2… Perforated Pizza. Ever watch people share a large pizza? Some people want a huge slice, others just a little sliver. But, we’re all at the whim of how the pie was cut up. Unless the pizza is perforated.

Yeah, imagine a perforated pizza with 36 wedges (NY style wedges, not square style) — each 10 degrees of the full 360 degree circle. So, if you want a small piece, you pull/tear out a 10 degree slice. If you want a bigger slice, maybe tear out 20 degrees. Want a full quarter? Pull out 90 degrees. You get the drift.

But here’s where the almost comes in: Cheese. Curse that oozy, melting, “enemy of perforations” cheese.

30 comments so far (Post a Comment)

24 Jun 2004 | Don Schenck said...

Better idea: Kitchen shears. That's right, you simply cut the pizza with scissors.

*sigh* I gotta tell you young whippersnappers everything. Sheesh.

24 Jun 2004 | jeremy said...

my only complaint about the kitchen shear solution is that the shears often get gummed up with cheese (and if you're using your shears to cut up things like raw chickens, you don't want to use those shears on cooked food...)

I personally use...wait for it...a pizza wheel. Yep, I busted out the $3 for a specialised tool (though it's also good for cutting pastry and mincing herbs...)

24 Jun 2004 | Bob H. said...

Are you bored Jason!? ;)

Actually, this is a cool idea. You should sell it to Pizza Hut.

24 Jun 2004 | Jonny Roader said...

People *share* pizzas?

24 Jun 2004 | Benjy said...

Seeing as very few people limit themselves to 1 slice, is this really much of an issue? Can't one set their limit based on whether they take 2, 3, 4, etc. slices?

I also see the perforated slices coming apart when one doesn't want them to -- image the mess of a 40 degree wedge splitting down the middle as you're about to take a bite, spilling cheese and toppings in your lap.

24 Jun 2004 | CM Harrington said...

Solution, similar to the first poster...

Receive an uncut pie, slice to what you want.

Done.

The idea of perforated pizza evokes pre-fab, packaged food-like substances. Not very appetizing.

24 Jun 2004 | Michael Spina said...

Or how about just making smaller slices, so you can take exactly as much as you need? If I have appetizers or I'm not too hungry, two regular slices is a little bit much and one isn't quite enough. But three half slices would be perfect, and easier to eat by hand!

24 Jun 2004 | the arborist... said...

My great idea...
Sweetgum Tree Birth Control... I am not sure if you have these trees up North, but every two years they drop thousands of "gumballs" into your yard. They essentially are wooden marbles, they clog up gutters, are hazadous as they roll underfoot and destroy grass when they decompose. They are a bitch to rake up. Obviously, something biological prevents these trees from dropping gumballs every year. Finding that substance and injecting it into the tree should keep the tree from dropping these balls yearly would be a million dollar idea...guaranteed.

24 Jun 2004 | Da Coach said...

How you gonna perforate dat t'ree inch thick Chicago pie? Over by dere.

24 Jun 2004 | David S said...

Often times the pizzas aren't peferectly cut, and that works out the best for everyone. You get your selection of slice sizes.

Of course, it fails when you are trying to split a pizza 4 ways.

24 Jun 2004 | Don Schenck said...

arborist ... here is a solution.

24 Jun 2004 | kageki said...

This would never work.

You've obviously never eaten Matzoh. That stuff is perforated and it NEVER breaks along the lines.

24 Jun 2004 | Alistair said...

While trying to 'rough it' with friends a few years back, one of my camping buddies decided to use an axe to cut the pizza that we'd had delivered to the campground. The slices were a little... uneven.

24 Jun 2004 | Graham Hicks said...

Building on Don and CM's ideas, what about selling uncut pizzas, and including a disposable pizza cutter/knife/shears with it.

Or the pizza place could give away a free pizza cutter to each home with it's first delivery. The pizza cutter would, obviously, have the restaurant's logo and contact info permanently emblazoned on the blade.

24 Jun 2004 | Graham Hicks said...

Hmm, looks like someone beat me to that idea.

And This thing is even cooler. It's a combo three-legged-table-lid-support-thing/pizza cutter. With optional fridge magnet!

24 Jun 2004 | Mark said...

I agree that having a perforated pizza or even a process where every slice is exactly 10 degrees (Why perforate? You want 40 degrees worth - get 4 pieces @ 10 degrees each) takes away from the enjoyment. It would be nice however if [insert Pizza vendor here] offered the option of having the pizza pre-sliced or not sliced at all.

24 Jun 2004 | Brian Fox said...

Think "Costco Pizza". [If you don't know what Costco is, its a large Warehouse store that happens to have a pizza shop inside with really good pizza]. Well they sell Pizza by the slice there, so they had to come up with some way to ensure all the slices were the same size- so their solution is a pizza cutting guide - It is basically a round device they put on top of the pizza as a guide for their pizza cutter- This ensures that Each and EVERY slice is exactly the same size.... Genius I tell you.

24 Jun 2004 | Marco said...

A 10 degree slice is too thin, you won't be able to eat it with your hands because the slice is gonna bend. I think 20 degrees is the absolute minimum... unless it's one of those orrible thick pizzas. ;)

24 Jun 2004 | LNJ said...

You know... in the last month we have had a LOT of dialog here about pizza.

I bring this up only to note the fact, but at the same time I wonder...
Do people REALLY like pizza that much or do people just really like TALKING about pizza that much? If that ain't the biggest ponderment since chicken and egg, I'm not sure what is. :)

24 Jun 2004 | ~bc said...

I certainly do like pizza this much. Personally, I don't give a hoot how its cut. I don't think we need any more investment in pizza division. However, if you're ordering (in or out I suppose) I think it'd be cool if you could ask for it not to be cut if that's an issue for you. However, pizzas tend to be difficult to cut well if you lack the proper equipment... so to these people, I'd suggest leaving it to the pros.

And as for the disposable cutter... let's opt out, or at least make it recyclable/reuseable. Now a pizza cutter to give your customers as a keep-sake would be both good customer relations, and good advertising... whenever they had pizza, they'd think of your business.

24 Jun 2004 | Michael Spina said...

I'm getting hungry.

24 Jun 2004 | Don Schenck said...

Pizza is that good. Food of heaven. I wonder if the manna of the Old Testament wasn't pizza.

Mmmmm ... pizza.

24 Jun 2004 | Alex King said...

To keep the 10 degree slices from bending, cardboard re-enforcement would work great, and is already implimented in many pizzas.

25 Jun 2004 | bradnelson said...

My problem is that pizza that is actually cut is hard enough to pull apart sometimes. Perforated would be even more of a mess with everyone touching the rest of the pizza. Gross.

25 Jun 2004 | tom said...

Being a mountain biker, I'm pretty partial to the Park Tool Pizza Slicer :)

25 Jun 2004 | Jeff Minard said...

Better watch out or you're going to have to get an award to "Almost a great blog"

;-) j/k I like these

25 Jun 2004 | Natalie Buxton said...

You can buy perforated pizza bases here in Melbourne (Aus) already.

Makes making pizza easy - but you still need to slice through the toppings.

A good old pizza cutter is the best thing ever, keep one in your drawer.

25 Jun 2004 | unknown comic said...

How many bloggers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

25 Jun 2004 | Will said...

Some time ago, I discovered that eating my pizza using the cutting wheel and a fork was far easier than eating it with a knife and a fork. It drives my wife crazy that I always do this, but it makes perfectly logical sense, because you can cut bites off very easily with little mess.

So I have always secretly wanted to open a pizza parlor where everyone was given their own pizza cutting wheel instead of a knife. I figured this would be the gimmick that would rake in billions.

But then I thought perhaps also giving every table a remote control car with a tray mounted on top would be cool too. The challenge is to write your order down, drive it to the kitchen on your RC car, pick up your drinks without spilling them, retrieve your pizza, and bring it all back without spilling it or bumping another table's car. I think this would be a big hit with the NASCAR crowd.

Maybe both of these ideas together would be a winning combo.

28 Jun 2004 | Don Schenck said...

Will, you're just weird.

My kinda guy :-)

Comments on this post are closed

 
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