Apparently, it is completely 100% normal for a year-old MacBook Air to get so hot that it can scorch your skin. It is also totally and completely normal for the fans to run all day, even after it was put to sleep, going at 6800 RPMs, all fucking day.

Yes, according to the Apple – who would not replace or fix this machine that burned me – there’s nothing wrong with this happening. Special thanks to the Genii at Woodfield who would neither apologize for this issue or offer to investigate.