In the right dose, ambition works wonders. It inspires you to achieve more, to stretch yourself beyond the comfort zone, and provides the motivation to keep going when the going gets tough. Rightfully so, ambition is universally revered.
But ambition also has a dark, addictive side that’s rarely talked about.
I just finished 2nd in the ultra-competitive LMP2 category of the greatest motor race in the world: 24 hours of Le Mans. That’s a monumental achievement by almost any standards, yet also one of the least enjoyable experiences I’ve had driving a race car — all because of ambition.
Armed with the fastest and most reliable car, the best-prepared team, and two of the fastest team mates in the business, it simply wasn’t possible to enter the race with anything less than the top step of the podium in mind. Add to that leading much of the race, and a storming comeback to first position after my mistake, it compounded to an all-out focus on the win and nothing but.
That’s exactly the danger of what too much ambition can do: Narrow the range of acceptable outcomes to the ridiculous, and then make anything less seem like utter failure. It’s irrational, but so are most forms of psychological addiction. You can’t break the spell merely by throwing logic at it.
There’s not a graceful way to process this “loss”. Society generally only accepts the notion of “overly ambitious” when there’s a demonstrably large gap between perceived ability and desired outcome. In those cases, though, it’s much easier to shake off reaching for the stars and failing. That’s expected.
But when the ambition is cranked up to the max due to prior accomplishments and success, it can easily provide only pressure and anxiety. When that’s the case, winning isn’t even nearly as sweet as the loss is bitter. When you expect to win, it’s merely a checked box if you do — after the initial rush of glory dies down.
Over-dosing on ambition isn’t just an occupational hazard of sports. It goes for all walks of life. I’ve met many extremely accomplished people who’ve had the grave misfortune of reaching one too many of their goals, only to be saddled with an impossibly high baseline for success. It’s devoured their intrinsic motivation, leaving nothing but an increasingly impossible search for another fix of blow-it-out-the-park success. When that doesn’t happen, the withdrawal is a bitch.
This experience has been a painful realization of everything that Alfie Kohn wrote about in Punished by Rewards and a reminder of the wisdom of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s Flow. Happiness doesn’t lie in the fulfillment of the expected. Neither in all the trinkets and trophies of the world. It’s in enjoying the immersion of the process, not the final outcome.
ecbp
on 24 Jun 13Hats off to you for the self awareness.
That’s really the only remedy to over reaching; we’re all going to do it, sure, but having the self awareness to call ourselves on it is the only way we grow.
Peter Urban
on 24 Jun 13Being an ex-racer myself I feel with you.
It is about the difference between Stress that is based on primarily focusing on the outcome, where the thing you are doing to get there degrades to being merely an obstacle to overcome (negative attitude towards the thing you wanted to do in the first place) versus Enthusiasm that grows out of the joy of fully focusing on what you are doing in the moment (competitive driving in this case) with a “healthy” goal on the (slightly out of visor) horizon.
It is all relative, most people would be happy to drive one of those cars for a couple of laps – and from there the ambition grows …
What you’ve achieved is still a great accomplishment and some much more experienced people have stuck it into the rails in similar conditions (ahem… Toyota).
Also I am sorry to hear about he loos of your countrymen. What a terrible note on a otherwise great weekend of racing.
Now it’s time to rinse and repeat. 24h Du Mans 2014 is only 262 days away.
Andy
on 24 Jun 13A counter argument written on this exact topic, 4 years ago, by famed Joel Spolsky
Shane
on 24 Jun 13Awesome job in difficult conditions! Scoring P1 & P2 in class is something even the mighty Audi couldn’t accomplish this year and it speaks volumes about your team. Can’t wait for next year!
Dan
on 24 Jun 13I think there’s an obvious flip-side to this though. The need for being the best and a constant dissatisfaction with where we are is an extremely important evolutionary device that we misunderstand.
If we got as much satisfaction out of achieving the expected as we do from exceeding our goals, we would lack ambition. Without ambition our progress would be greatly reduced.
What if you had won? Would you be happier in the long term or would you be back next year wanting to repeat the success?
So is ambition really poison? I think short-term frustrations of not achieving your goals are in many cases the price for long-term success.
ecbp
on 24 Jun 13@Dan I think DHH’s point is about finding happiness, and how too much ambition can poison it. A person with limitless ambition will never be satisfied, and most likely never be happy. If that’s the case, what’s the point of long-term ‘success’.
charly
on 24 Jun 13Difficult not to see a political metaphor on the ideology underlying free market : how much focus on competition until it poisons our lives ? Also there was an interesting article about the physics of traffic jam, and how deregulated drivers would slow the traffic as a whole with no or negative personal gain…. Food for thought.
Alex
on 24 Jun 13Congratulations!
Your article is so true. It is very important to put things into perspective.
Like they say in Spain: “Lo importante es participar”! ;)
Scott
on 24 Jun 13I’m glad you’ve achieved some clarity. A 2nd place finish in category at Le Mans is one hell of an accomplishment in its own right.
I’ve not always been thrilled with some of your track behavior in the past, but your post provided a window into your motivation, which I now understand better. I’m sure that trying to prove yourself as a gentleman driver can be especially difficult with the looming stigma. The desire to win can often get the best of prudence.
I’m a former Division I track & field athlete and was also juiced up on achievement. When I started getting injured and under performing according to what was projected, I started beating myself up. It became a self-destructive, vicious cycle of negativity. Only after the fact did I realize that I’d still gotten much farther than most could ever hope.
Massive congrats on the finish. I’m sure you’ll have many more chances to stand on the top step.
Shane
on 24 Jun 13I’m not sure if DHH is just bragging he drives expenses race cars or what.
What I do know though is I learned more from Joel Spolsky’s article, mentioned in the comments above, than anything else in this post. And Joel’s articles is the complete opposite of what DHH states.
Especially this excerpt from his Inc.com post:
Jed Schneider
on 24 Jun 13When I was racing bikes, even if I was going to a race where I knew I was the most likely winner, I tried never set my mind to ‘win or else’. I’d try to take the tact ‘Top 3 is a great result.’ Giving myself the leeway to not always be in the lead and act defensively allowed me to see how the other players were playing. This gives you the strategic edge you miss when you’re hotly attacking at the front.
Racing is just as much about letting other people show their strengths as it is about asserting your own. As the race developed, I would then continually re-address my likelihood of winning and adjust my strategy accordingly. I found this a very pressure free way to win a lot of races; some that I only had the belief I would be ‘top 10’ that day. Those, of course, are the sweetest victories, and the ones most worth celebrating. Now that I am no longer in top form and on to another career in software, I must do everything in my skill set to be racing for the top spot, even at a local level. I have to admit though, even in that local race, that I’m not sure the thrill of coming into the closing moments of the race and knowing I have a chance to win changes at all.
Best of luck to you David.
Matthew Bailey
on 25 Jun 13Totally agree. It brings me back to the “no limit” man by Wayne Dire. He talked about goals and their ability to do this. His solution was that it was okay to have goals but they should never take precedence over the enjoyment of the moment. Otherwise, we get stuck with the disease of wanting more.
73 Bignals
on 25 Jun 13This came across to me as a bit of a “humble-brag,” about having the wealth to even play a sport like this, given that it can cost upwards of $500,000 to put a car in the race, and then coming second-place. The point here is basically, “once you’ve achieved a lot of success, it hurts to not always win.” Which is, of course, true. In fact, even if you’re not a high-achiever, it hurts to lose.
Heironimus
on 25 Jun 13David, sounds like you should take 15 minutes to read Ecclesiates and get a perspective from thousands of years ago.
Vicki
on 25 Jun 13Hard to take anyone seriously when they drive million dollar sports cars just for fun.
Rodrigo Rosenfeld Rosas
on 25 Jun 13Wow, I didn’t know that! Congrats! :)
Anon
on 25 Jun 13What would you have posted if you came first? lol you crack me up David
Kavin
on 26 Jun 13I can relate this to another founder Elon Musk. He has already built solid EV car (Model S, etc.) and planning to change the world addiction to fossil fuel (space x to go to mars).
Do you think Tesla or Elon Musk is something overly ambitious in their goal?
BTW: winning and losing two side of coins and ambitious people get taste of one in lifetime.
Oliver
on 26 Jun 13Nice humble-brag…
Patrick
on 26 Jun 13Interesting post, David. I am happiest when developing my own software or thinking about a new product idea. It is something which relates to some intrinsic drives indeed. On the other hand, I found that failing which leads to a better understanding of the world, can lead to understanding, and happiness in its own. So, both, the good and bad can make me happy :-)
Yan
on 26 Jun 13I think this is more about expectations than solely ambition. When we expect a certain outcome and get attached to it, dissatisfaction surely follows. That’s a basic teaching of much of eastern philosophy.
Personally, the more I’ve let go of attachment and ambition, the happier I’ve become. I’ve found I can do and create, without it being about me. Well, sometimes… Definitely a work in progress :)
To those struggling to take this seriously because it seems a high class problem, I say irrespective of money, fame, power we’re all human and susceptible to all that encompasses.
Jason
on 28 Jun 13Would it be too ambitious to rewrite the Campfire polling system with Rails 4 streaming? ;)
James G
on 01 Jul 13David, when reading your post I kept substituting “ego” for “ambition”. It doesn’t seem to be about amibition; it seems more about the limits of ego, and what happens when the ego’s running the show.
This discussion is closed.