My son loves toy catalogs. He’ll turn the pages and just imagine. He drinks the koolaid, and loves every minute of it. I love to watch him.
I hope he never gets to the point where he thumbs through a catalog and scoffs. Where he reads the descriptions and cynically dares them to be true. I want him to always retain his sense of wonder, his desire to believe the best.
What has happened to our optimism? I’m sure all of us can recall many a childhood hour spent thumbing through dog-eared toy catalogs, dreaming. How many of us still do? Why are we now so quick to shout “hype” at every new development? Why are we so afraid to believe? “Meh, it’s just another X.” “So-and-so did that years ago.” “I’ll believe it when I see it.“
I’ve found myself slipping down that poisonous slope recently. I’ve started to reevaluate, and I think I’d rather follow my son. Perhaps it’s not too late to recapture some of that childhood optimism.
Anand Dhingra
on 12 Jun 07I prefer to place myself roughly in the middle of the wisdom—> optimism continuum.
Mark Webster
on 12 Jun 07I have to say, I don’t agree at all…
A toy catalog is a marketing piece. A young child is naive and very open and willing to believe what a marketer is telling them. A child sees the kids in the catalog having fun with these toys and wants to have fun like that.
But as we get older, we realize that we’re being marketed to. We have also been let down over and over by marketers. Marketers eventually make us cynics.
I remember watching toy ads as a kid, seeing the missles fire and guns shoot, only to actually get the toy, and see some lame ‘launcher.”
What one sees as optimism, another might see as not knowing any better…
JF
on 12 Jun 07Amen, Jamis. Wonder, optimism, curiosity—these are gifts. I try to unwrap mine every day.
John S.
on 12 Jun 07I’m with Mark on this one. Optimism is nice until you’re naiveté is repeatedly taken advantage of.
Wonder and curiosity though are great things and should never be stymied.
John S.
on 12 Jun 07I can’t spell….your naiveté, not you’re…grrr
Harold Emsheimer
on 12 Jun 07Jamis, I agree, we have entered a time where criticism seems to be valued over optimism. Its pretty telling when everywhere you look people look for the bad before they even consider looking at what might be good.
Jamis
on 12 Jun 07It’s seems very telling when people say that wisdom is the opposite of optimism, or equate optimism with naiveté.
Andy
on 12 Jun 07It would be great to redirect that wonder and optimism to something truly constructive, like science or nature, or computer programming, rather than have it beat up by something like marketing.
Drew Schiller
on 12 Jun 07Check out Kim and Jason. They have made a business out of escaping adulthood. Their blogs are interesting too.
Jim
on 12 Jun 07When did you stop believing in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny? When did you realize that there were monsters your father couldn’t shoo away?
I believe in optimism. Informed optimism.
You see the catalog with different eyes from your son. You’ve come to recognize the common weasel words, you know the ways that marketers can mislead. You’ve gone down the road time and again, and you have experience. You react accordingly.
Your son – and mine – still has blind optimism. Not informed optimism.
The House of Wigs
on 12 Jun 07I wonder what it says about me that I read this little story and rolled my eyes. Never mind, I figured it out: MY HEART HAS BEEN MURDERED BY MARKETING.
Dr. Pete
on 12 Jun 07This may sound odd, but I find myself agreeing with both Jamis and Mark. On the one hand, I’d like to recapture that constant feeling of wonder as a kid of being in a toy store, watching cartoons, etc. There was an overriding sense of possibility that we often lose as adults.
On the other hand, those toy catalogs and cartoon commercials, and the feeling that, if we just had that one perfect toy, our lives would be better, is exactly what drives our consumer mindset as adults. There’s a fine line between the pictures of all of the Star Wars figures you didn’t have on the back of the box and that BMW brochure.
random8r
on 12 Jun 07Mate, (Can you tell I’m Aussie? ;-))
I love ya!
Yes, PLAY with your son. Don’t follow him! He knows that he doesn’t know. Learn that again, well. Most of the time, us adult-folk forget that we don’t know – that is, until something happens to us that is so intense we’re forced to see it, despite ourselves.
Put simply, we believe our games are real.
“The Little Prince” beckons! Better read it :-)
I’d wager that real wisdom is knowing what’s appropriate. Being aware is not going into out of balance in one direction, or the other. It’s sitting in the middle and watching the play between the sides. :-)
Warmest Respect, Julian.
(By the way, the word “re-spect” is great, isn’t it? To look again. To appreciate ;-).
Justin Pease
on 12 Jun 07I remember flipping through toy catalogs too. Not so sure it is optimism at work though. I’d say it’s part desire and part imagination. First there is the imagination – imagining how much fun that toy would be – which builds desire. Then we are looking at the images with desire, so it feels good to look more. Fun for a while, but kind of an empty and vicious cycle.
We do the same as adults. It’s just as adults we can more readily fulfill the desire (by purchasing the item) and thus destroy the need for imagination. Unfortunately (as others have stated) the reality is rarely as good as the imagination.
So I’m not sure it’s simply a matter of being optimistic that things are going to be great, when experience has likely proved otherwise in the majority of cases.
The lesson to be learned, in my opinion, is to stop trying to fulfill all our desires with our wallets and things and use our minds & imagination more. Like a child, remember how to be intrigued by the world around us.
heri
on 12 Jun 07you are talking about optimism but i think you should replace it with enthusiasm. i think your son is dreaming about cool new toys he can have fun with. i think your son is interested in the toy’s bright colors, the toy that can fly or the one that does funky sounds. it’s the experience that interests him. being able to dream once again and have fun. and i think we all want that – on another matters of course.
the difference between optimism/naiveté and enthusiasm is that you know the problems and reality when you are enthusiast but you still want it to happen.
huphtur
on 12 Jun 07I bought a new bike and have been going to the manufacturers web page just about everyday, waiting for it to arrive. I guess I’m still a kid…
random8r
on 12 Jun 07I don’t understand what’s wrong with enjoying things?
Having a BMW is grand, if you like BMW’s.
I have a Macintosh computer, and I love to use it, most of the time. It’s REALLY enjoyable to use. I think quality is great. I appreciate it.
I used to have He-Man figurines when I was younger. I loved them. I enjoyed playing with them.
Is the fact that they were commercially propagated deemed bad? By who?
I think the fact that Vitamin-C, for example, is commercially propagated is a great thing, thus, it’s definition and obviously possible for things that come to us through “commerce” to be useful and considered good.
At the end of the day, it’s ME who decides what a thing means to me, and whether I enjoy it or not, including how it came into being, how it got to me, and so on and so forth.
(In other words, it’s up to me to know the origin of the coffee I drink, or to not know it. It’s entirely my game whether I want to be conscious or not of it).
Regards, Julian.
Robert
on 12 Jun 07It is the knowledge which hinders us to dream more about things. The difficult part is to switch between strolling around the Apple homepage and dreaming about the ultimate configuration and the real life where you’ll be able to afford it in approximately 10 years when you start saving right now…
Both moves are essential: dreaming and yet standing up with a smile on your face and getting back into the real world – where at least you could enjoy watching your child dreaming.
The difference about dreaming and the real world is the fact that when you’re dreaming you don’t feel the need to possess but to play around in your head. These two views are not to be confounded – possessing doesn’t make you happy (imho).
Scott Meade
on 12 Jun 07“And she said… Flowers are red young man Green leaves are green There’s no need to see flowers any other way Than they way they always have been seen
But the little boy said… There are so many colors in the rainbow So many colors in the morning sun So many colors in the flower and I see every one
Well the teacher said.. You’re sassy There’s ways that things should be And you’ll paint flowers the way they are So repeat after me…..”
Flowers are Red
Karl N
on 12 Jun 07This seems to result from either looking at the superficial features or the underlying meaning, which is a duality seen everywhere. Adults may have learned not to see any meaning in a child’s toy, imagining it only as the result of market research and profit maximization. But products like Apple’s still capture people’s imaginations, because they see the underlying meaning and emotion in Jobs’s speeches.
It is folly to take either viewpoint on everything.
I would like to mention that I may have dismissed the TeamSnap program from this fault as well.
Nathan Clark
on 12 Jun 07“No one doubts that an ordinary man can get on with this world: but we demand not strength enough to get on with it, but strength enough to get it on. Can he hate it enough to change it, and yet love it enough to think it worth changing? Can he look up at its colossal good without once feeling acquiescence? Can he look up at its colossal evil without once feeling despair? Can he, in short, be at once not only a pessimist and an optimist, but a fanatical pessimist and a fanatical optimist? Is he enough of a pagan to die for the world, and enough of a Christian to die to it? In this combination, I maintain, it is the rational optimist who fails, the irrational optimist who succeeds. He is ready to smash the whole universe for the sake of itself.” Orthodoxy – GK Chesteron
I don’t think the sort of notion Jamis put forth requires a return to childhood, but a turn to full maturity.
Justin Reese
on 12 Jun 07I love this line from The New Yorker’s review of Shrek 3:
Certainly we outgrow some of childhood’s wide-eyed optimism, but it’s also being beaten out of us by an increasingly self-conscious and ironic culture. Blech.
Bill P
on 12 Jun 07I played hockey with my 4 year old Son last night. It was the first time in a long time, I’m ashamed to say.
It wasn’t practice or work. it was Team Canada vs. Team USA. Every one-timer was for the win.
Just like when I was a kid. No amount of coding or grown-up busy work can touch it.
Everytime I find myself thinking “why don’t I do that more often?” – I’ find my priorities are all wrong.
Thanks Jamis.
gwg
on 12 Jun 07Here’s my takeaway from this: flip through the toy catalog and be filled with wonder. Then go build your own toys that actually do what you imagine.
Second: Don’t put lies in your own catalog and people will be filled with wonder when your next issue returns.
Kevin L
on 12 Jun 07I think people sometimes push their cynicism because they think it’s cool or the mature way of looking at the world. I think it’s crap.
Last night I started taking skating lessons with my 4 and 5 year olds and I had a blast. I love that they now have a SpiderMan Mr. Potato Head doll that I can proudly display in my office along with my Darth Tater and Spud Trooper and my Buzz Lightyear.
Giving up your childhood and giving into “informed optimism” is like giving up your dreams and now your just waiting to die.
Jamis, I say drink the toy catalog Kool-Aid. Go out and buy that Tyco race track you always wanted as a kid and set it up and race your son every night after work.
Being a kid with my babies is what keeps me alive. Culture can kiss my a**!
Josh
on 12 Jun 07I think you guys are a bit off-mark. Optimism and wonder aren’t tied to material possessions. Sure, a kid hasn’t experienced let down by marketing, but looking at material items isn’t the only way to achieve optimism and wonder. Just seeing your son happy achieves that. What kind of potential he has and how he’s going to grow up is wondrous to me. I find that every time I see a new illustrator’s work or hear an amazing album. I think we’d have an easier time finding this if we’d just tun off the TV/internet/radio/catalogs.
condor
on 12 Jun 07great post.
Anthony
on 12 Jun 07Well, although I am a born pessimist, I am still able to flip through the toy catalog with wonder and excitement. The only problems is the catalog is B&H or Best Buy instead of Toys R’ Us and the toys are a lot more expensive.
I do get a little annoyed with cynical people who find nothing interesting or impressive.
Bruce
on 12 Jun 07I remember doing it, and I still drool all over things. I believe that optimism is a choice, and I love it. Every issue of Make magazine, for example, starts a day-long celebration in my house where my son and I flip our through its inspired-layouts and projects, imagining all of the things we can build.
I find that when I can muster that optimism, that my design is better, my code is better, and I’m happier overall. It does result in a plethora-of-ideas, but that’s fun too. I just need to balance it with some discipline.
(I’m a cynic too, but in the most light-hearted way possible. It’s part of growing up to see what’s broken … as long as you don’t forget what gets your imagination going.)
Chris S
on 12 Jun 07This is a cynical culture. The problem is that children often have plastic toys instead of parents who are really raising them, fluff instead of families (sorry for the alliteration).
The best way you can immunize your children against marketing is let their minds play in the catalogs…but don’t buy them everything they ask for, or even most of what they ask for. Instead, help them experience eveyrthing that is truly good. And spend the time with them.
There is no such thing as quality time, and the best times you’ll ever have with your kids are times that we couldn’t have planned, not in a million years.
When they grow up, they will remember how they didn’t need any of that hyped plastic to be happy.
Alex Bunardzic
on 12 Jun 07Fantastic post! The author reminds me of that character from the movie “Matrix” (I think his name was Mouse), who wants to return to the matrix.
In the author’s case, his Agent Smith seems to be the toy catalog. Or, is it his son?
Yes, many of us have taken the red pill, and some have regretted taking it. So the toy catalog would be the blue pill, no?
On a somewhat related note, isn’t George W. Bush one of the most childishly optimistic people around?
Dhrumil
on 12 Jun 07I feel ya Jamis. The unconsciousness just wants to drag you down. Gotta keep the spirit alive.
Rev. John
on 12 Jun 07I totally agree with Chris S about buying everything they want, and replacing plastic with parenting.
I took it one step further and cancelled TV for 6 months. My kids (5) went from “Daddy I want the Dora scooter” to “Daddy, can we go to the play park?” It’s amazing their minds are so sponge like.
I think many people here are blaming marketing for a human fault. We as humans build up how we think things should be, and when things don’t turn out like that, we become angry. While marketing can play part of that, our minds play an even larger roll. “If I just have this I will be happy”, “if I could do this I would be happy”, etc.
The problem is that when reality happens, its different than what our perception of reality should be. Years of this makes us cynical. It’s a societal standard in America to want, and buy everything. We chase every latest fad in hopes to achieve happiness. Unfortunately, most will never find it.
While looking at a catalog seems harmless, it builds the “if I . . . then I will be happy” cycles. I think we as parents need to train our children that consumerism will not bring happiness, and that true happiness comes from with in. We also need to find ways to nurture optimism, creativity, and curiosity, and wonder. Imagine what kind of cool web apps today’s kids will dream up tomorrow.
ABasketOfPups
on 12 Jun 07It’s seems very telling when people say that wisdom is the opposite of optimism, or equate optimism with naiveté.
Jamis: Childish optimism isn’t the opposite of wisdom, but, it does equate with naiveté. An adult can be optimistic, but an adult isn’t going to read the ad for x-ray-specs and think they’ll see through walls… or anything. I think that’s what people are taking issue with, the idea that the optimism is more important than the knowledge you’ve (we’ve) built up over time, of what is really just marketing hype.
That people are TOO cynical? Well yeah. As folks that run a business, you already know that from the 2,000 times someone said “there are thousands of companies trying to do what you want to do, you don’t stand a chance.” Some of whom, probably, said that to you like, AFTER you were raking in the bucks while they weren’t.
It’s good to fight cynicism, but I don’t think it’s good to be childishly optimistic except, maybe, as an exercise for a given situation, like during brainstorming. It’s good to be optimistic, probably useful to be optimistic to the point that most sane people would worry about you. :) But you really should draw the line somewhere, or else you’ll end up looking like Ed Wood. (OK, well, you folks wouldn’t, but there are plenty of folks optimistic beyond their talent, let’s say…)
Joshua Kaufman
on 12 Jun 07Optimism is always beneficial. Thanks for the reminder, Jamis!
condor
on 12 Jun 07let’s not confuse wonder with gullibility. while we’re young we’re open-minded by default, as we learn about risks and downsides we have to make the active choice to be open to things that can capture our imagination. Thats the only way we can advance, but its a choice.
Justin Bell
on 13 Jun 07I used to look through Lego Technics catalogs in awe. I got the same feeling when I browsed Apple’s new site yesterday and found their Leopard preview section.
anon because of possible embarassing typos
on 13 Jun 07We develop cynicism and skepticism because if we don’t we’ll be taken advantage of by shysters and unscrupulous liars. We’ll get ripped off on cars that fall apart as soon as you drive them out of the dealership.
Children are very vulnerable and dependent on their parents.
However, excessive cynicism and skepticism is unhealthy. This is also related to being overly conservative. (If you think that in June 2007 Rails and Ruby aren’t battle-tested and therefore you aren’t going to use it in a small business context, you are overly conservative.) You just need to keep your bullshit detector in good working order while also being able to spot a good new thing when you see it (Ruby in 2005/2006, for instance), that’s all.
Anonymous Coward
on 13 Jun 07Optimism towards the future is essential in this (online) business regardless of its most accurate definition when dealing with the present.
The world I envision for my (soon to be) children is a goal I intend to have my part in, in improving on. The advancement of humanity is the core of living a full life compared to religious concepts where having a positive post-death life which is valued over the present of today.
Thanks for your post… allowing me to be overly philosophical :D
Randall Farmer
on 13 Jun 07Ryan Allen
on 13 Jun 07I liked your post Jamis. I see a lot of responsibility-shifting in the replies. I don’t think it matters how much you try to drum it in to people, but you are (really) ultimately responsible for your own happiness.
But hey, that’s not easy work, certainly not as easy as blaming someone else for your woes or misgivings :) But you must have pity, it certainly is horrible living like that.
Mark
on 13 Jun 07For the most part, it seems we’re looking at the optimism of children in the isolated case (established by Jamis) of ONE child.
I have two kids, and without any help from their parents, they will “meh” all over each others toys and catalogs naturally.
For instance, my daughter drools all over everything pink in color, or of the “Strawberry Shortcake” brand. My son is in to superheros and imaginary battles.
Both are highly imaginative and optimistic about everything on the brands they are currently following (which will also change after I write this) and super die hard fans of.
They are only 6 and 2, but already they are setting up their preference for toys, and which toy will be played with today—and why their choice is better than that of the other.
I can easily see that one will probably get all excited over the prospects of building web apps for an iPhone, while the other will tend toward building .net applications.
One will most likely see the others effort as silly, while the other will see her sibling’s constructions being bloated, overly complicated and awkward.
For my part, I’m just going to stand in wonderment, watching and learning. Everyday I too, like Jamis, wonder about my own waning optimism and trust. But I also discover those little areas where I am truly closed-minded where I thought I was accommodating.
Charlene Kingston
on 13 Jun 07Hey Jamis
In my view of the world, the difference between your son’s outlook and yours is about reality. Your son is dreaming of a potential future. You are looking at a reality with the lens of past experience.
I have found a way to reconnect with that magical outlook your son exhibits. I spent a little time each day thinking about how great it feels now that I’ve reached some goal I’ve set for myself. I focus on what I want to achieve as if it has already happened, and don’t give the how I accomplished it a second thought. In stark contract, I used to project manage my goals to death.
This focusing on the what instead of the how is what keeps me out of crystal clear gritty shades of gray reality. The amazing thing is that by doing this and not trying to bring the dream to present day reality, I find that I’m suddenly inspired with new ideas, new strategies, rethinking lond standing opinions, etc. That process lets me stay in the magic while still running a business that requires project management, accounts payables, attorneys, and accountants—the gritty realities.
Now that I’ve started doing this, I can’t believe how my outlook and my business have changed. I only wish I’d tried this sooner. Best of luck to you.
Charlene Kingston
on 13 Jun 07Hey Jamis
In my view of the world, the difference between your son’s outlook and yours is about reality. Your son is dreaming of a potential future. You are looking at a reality with the lens of past experience.
I have found a way to reconnect with that magical outlook your son exhibits. I spent a little time each day thinking about how great it feels now that I’ve reached some goal I’ve set for myself. I focus on what I want to achieve as if it has already happened, and don’t give the how I accomplished it a second thought. In stark contract, I used to project manage my goals to death.
This focusing on the what instead of the how is what keeps me out of crystal clear gritty shades of gray reality. The amazing thing is that by doing this and not trying to bring the dream to present day reality, I find that I’m suddenly inspired with new ideas, new strategies, rethinking lond standing opinions, etc. That process lets me stay in the magic while still running a business that requires project management, accounts payables, attorneys, and accountants—the gritty realities.
Now that I’ve started doing this, I can’t believe how my outlook and my business have changed. I only wish I’d tried this sooner. Best of luck to you.
Steve R.
on 13 Jun 07For me, the thing that killed wonder was the realization that many companies make stuff because their business model says you have to sell stuff to make money.
Wonder returned when I started meeting people who made stuff because they loved doing it and kept getting better at it – to the point where other people bought their stuff. Which is the way it should be (IMHO).
The business world has put the cart before the horse so often that consumers should be forgiven for their cynicism – but shouldn’t let that blind them to artisanal products, even trivial ones. I used to work for Lands’ End clothing company – before Sears bought them – and they took great pride in making well-made but (it must be said) stodgy clothing for reasonable prices. Their return policy was simple – if you don’t like it, even if you wore it for 10 years, return it for a full refund, no questions asked. We were told for 20 years that that business model couldn’t work, but it did. The founder, Gary Comer, was one of the most inspiring, wonder-full people I ever worked for.
All is not lost, with people like him starting businesses.
Eric Mill
on 13 Jun 07Optimism isn’t about being informed or not. It’s about giving the benefit of the doubt by instinct. It’s about trusting first, and allowing yourself to be betrayed.
Keeping yourself approachable, positive, and willing to be hurt is a stronger, more fearless way to live than to build walls so that you can never be hurt again.
Kim Siever
on 13 Jun 07“I’m sure all of us can recall many a childhood hour spent thumbing through dog-eared toy catalogs, dreaming. How many of us still do?”
I do when I read through the hardware store flyer.
Eamon
on 13 Jun 07This has nothing to do with optimism: it’s just plain commerce. Your son is cooing over the catalog because it’s all unobtainable to him; you’d have the exact same reaction looking through a Robb Report or a “Buy Your Own Tropical Island!” brochure. Skepticism only creeps in when you realize that something is attainable, because you’re moving on from the gut emotional statement of “I want” to the more practical question of “Should I buy it?” Your son doesn’t have to ask himself the latter question, so he can settle comfortably into a perpetual refrain of “I want I want I want”.
Really, choose your own hell: want something with no way to make it happen, or get something and risk disappointment.
Diego
on 13 Jun 07I have always tried to see the world as if it was brand new.
And I love to listen to Blind Melon. :)
Larry Clarkin
on 13 Jun 07Wonderful observation. My son does the same thing with his toy catalogs.
Darrel
on 13 Jun 07“What has happened to our optimism?”
We grew up.
CJ Curtis
on 13 Jun 07I think there’s a lot of truth in what you’re saying, but I also agree with some others here that optimism about a toy catalog is kind of a strange comparison. We all love our toy catalogs, whatever they may be. But as we get older, our “toys” tend to have more consequence than a $10 GI Joe rocket launcher that didn’t work.
I have a four-year-old son…very much into toy catalogs. Not because he’s naive (or optimistic)...but because he’s four and loves toys.
But I very much agree that we should all try and be more like our kids. We would all be much happier.
CJ Curtis
on 13 Jun 07I think there’s a lot of truth in what you’re saying, but I also agree with some others here that optimism about a toy catalog is kind of a strange comparison. We all love our toy catalogs, whatever they may be. But as we get older, our “toys” tend to have more consequence than a $10 GI Joe rocket launcher that didn’t work.
I have a four-year-old son…very much into toy catalogs. Not because he’s naive (or optimistic)...but because he’s four and loves toys.
But I very much agree that we should all try and be more like our kids. We would all be much happier.
CJ Curtis
on 13 Jun 07sorry about the double post…seems to be something wrong with your post form??
Justin
on 14 Jun 07I don’t know about you guys, but I gaze like a child when the apple.com home page changes. I always get that feeling of “I’m so excited and intrigued I don’t want to click the giant image”.
Darrel
on 14 Jun 07If we’re sticking with the Toy Catalog analogy, I think the key reason we loose that ‘optimism’ is that we now work for the money we spend. ;0)
Andrew
on 14 Jun 07Going back to the original post…(I skipped some of the conversation in-between)
Trust is a magical child-like thing, is it not? But we trust un-trustable things and get burned, don’t we?
So what is always trustable, and how can we return to it?
This discussion is closed.