A couple of years ago my dad introduced me to a friend of his he met at the local coffee shop. The fellow’s name was Darryl.
Honestly, what I noticed first was what was wrong with him: He walked with a severe limp, his speech was slurred, his face distorted, his motor skills were affected, and he couldn’t hear that well. Our hands missed on the first few handshake attempts.
But what I noticed next — and will always remember — was everything that was right about him. This guy was incredible. He had troubles, but they didn’t seem to trouble him. His life-is-wonderful outlook was piercing. His optimism became his defining trait. The guy was a fighter and didn’t let anyone tell him he couldn’t do something. He shared his inspiring story at schools, businesses, and prisons. He volunteered his time at his church and local hospital.
Darryl was about 39 when I met him. At 24 he was diagnosed with malignant, terminal brain cancer of the cerebellum and brain stem. The surgery would knock out his memory, movement, and speech. If he survived at all they said he probably wouldn’t walk or talk again. He was told he’d spend his time in a nursing home. But somehow about 15 years later I was meeting him at a coffee shop.
As these rare but amazing stories go, he had the surgery and beat his prognosis. He persevered through grueling rehab, dealt with demoralizing setbacks, but pushed on. He eventually regained his independence, the ability to move around on his own, speak, and live a mostly-normal life.
He wrote a book called Force a Miracle about his experience. Mike Ditka, a personal hero of Darryl’s, got ahold of an early manuscript and was so moved he wrote the foreword.
The book is pretty amazing. You’ll empty your eyes reading it.
Unfortunately about six weeks ago his tumor returned. It grew rapidly and was inoperable. On October 31st Darryl passed away (guestbook). We’ll miss everything about him. He was a great man. Donations in his memory can be made to the American Brain Tumor Association.
Matt Brown
on 14 Nov 07Thanks for sharing this story. My Aunt who just turned 40, who had 6-year old twins, all of a sudden started having problems swallowing food. She was in perfect health. Symptoms started to get worse and after doing tests we found out she had a stage four cancerous tumor in her brain stem. Stem is THE worst place for a tumor. Most doctors won’t even attempt at removing a tumor from that place, because of the damage that it will cause to the rest of the body (swallowing, speaking, balance, eyesight, etc.). My Aunt passed away after two months and it was the most horrible suffering I’ve ever had to witness. A tumor in the brain stem is unforgiving. I can only imagine what Darryl had to go through.
asdf king
on 14 Nov 07I am sorry for your loss… One day my brother started experiencing extreme headaches to the point where he had to be hospitalized. A cat scans showed a spot on his brain which later became a very angry stage 4 tumor. He survived 9 months after enduring some intense radiation therapy. My brother, I miss you dearly.
schlarb
on 14 Nov 07Thanks for writing this Jason. I’m sure he will be missed.
Joe
on 14 Nov 07This makes me want to go in to the doctor and get my cat scanned asap. :(
brad
on 14 Nov 07The organization I work for runs group homes for developmentally challenged individuals up here in Canada. Although I am in the head office, I do interact with people with similar challenges frequently, and I would have to say the same thing. Truly inspiring how many of them are able to live such full lives in a physically and/or mentally more limited capacity.
As previous posters have said, I too am sorry for your loss. But I am also happy for you that you had the joy of knowing someone like this.
Sasha Sydoruk
on 14 Nov 07This is amazing. Thank you for sharing.
sensei
on 15 Nov 07Yes, it’s “amazing” how many people with disabilities have this intense inner strength.
Almost as though constraints help you out, really isn’t it? ;-)
Tom G.
on 15 Nov 07Thanks Jason – I wish I didn’t have to be reminded to always be positive. This will make a better day for me and the people I have contact with.
Jed
on 15 Nov 07Thank you for posting this. I can’t think of better evidence of a person’s ability to create a positive energy vibe zone.
Danny Hotea
on 15 Nov 07I heard someone say the key to happiness in life is “to become chronically ill and learn to cope with it”.
Thanks for sharing.
Lorna
on 16 Nov 07That is a inspiring story indeed… two of my best friends are dealing with a loved one who has been through multiple surgeries for his brain tumors. We all know that he will make it through because he maintains such a high level of optimism, tenacity and resiliance at all times, not to mention absolute and total humor.
I also wanted to point out how glad I am to have read your comments about this story prior to seeing the official website for the book. The human element to the story is what truly sells this story which deserves to be heard, not an endorsement by Mike Ditka. I do not intend to put down the promoters of the book (or Mike Ditka), but sometimes the most obvious PR tactic isn’t the one that works. I don’t think I am alone in saying that getting to know the person is what will ultimately make me read the story, PARTICULARLY because of a personal connection to a person with this problem, not an endorsement by a celebrity.
Maybe it’s a little off topic, but sometimes it doesn’t hurt to connect with people on a visceral level to get a story heard… thank you and well done!
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