Yesterday I got an email from a biz dev guy at a company that syncs data between different applications from different companies.
This was the first line of the email:
I work for an enterprise level integration company that is looking to attack the long tail of the market for point to point integration solutions.
Delete.
Micheal
on 25 Jan 08Seems like this guy enjoys hitting the business buzzword b.s. generator button.
Great Friday morning post Jason.
Z
on 25 Jan 08What the heck does that mean?
Dylan
on 25 Jan 08Speaking of email, how does one get in contact with the SVN crew? I found something absolutely wonderful that I thought you guys would just love, but when I went to share it, I couldn’t find your contact info anywhere.
War-N
on 25 Jan 08BINGO! :)
Jeff Mackey
on 25 Jan 08Awesome. I laughed out loud; made my morning.
Evan
on 25 Jan 08Wonder if he’ll try again when he sees this morning’s SvN =P
Thomas
on 25 Jan 08I think that means: “I work in a big-ass company that’s looking to work with more smaller companies, cause it turns out everyone has pretty much the same damn problems getting stuff to work right.”
SH
on 25 Jan 08@Dylan, you can try support at 37signals.com, or svn at 37signals.com
Justin Reese
on 25 Jan 08@Thomas: I read it as: “I have a Blackberry and an Expedition. My wife wants botox and thinks Oprah is a great spiritual leader. Can you give me money so I can afford the credit-based facade that is my life?”
Matt Brown
on 25 Jan 08And if you go to that guy’s company’s website, there will be a rectangular flash header with stock photos of multi-cultural people wearing business suits with a shiny office building in the background.
Evan
on 25 Jan 08@Justin Reese:
Hey now, we don’t even know this person.
Justin Reese
on 25 Jan 08@Evan: I know. I was stereotyping. :)
Jed
on 25 Jan 08I’m pretty sure he was saying that he wants to attack you.
Vicky
on 25 Jan 08To me it sounds like a canned form letter. Just out of curiousity, what was the subject line that you opened it in the first place?
Usually these spammers are not creative enough to capture the subject line with something interesting.
some guy
on 25 Jan 08I write glue code and web apps of the kind that generally integrate/combine different systems (email, www, IM, SMS, ...) for a living and I have no idea what a “point to point integration solution” is.
COD
on 25 Jan 08I am a biz dev guy so I’m getting a kick out of these replies :)
That is pretty bad, but I bet it works on the occasional clueless large company exec.
Mickey
on 25 Jan 08Ties right in my post this morning: http://www.cheapertising.com/smart-marketing/the-word-for-today/
Don Schenck
on 25 Jan 08@Justin: COTD!!
Okay Jason, I get the hint; I’ll reword the email and sent it again. :-)
Eric
on 25 Jan 08He wants to do what to your what??!
D
on 25 Jan 08DUH??!!
Seth
on 25 Jan 08I used to work with a company like this and this is what they are secretly saying in that email’s first paragraph:
“Hi. I am working for a commission only company who has given me an extremely unreasonable goal as to the amount of contacts that I need to import into our sales system per week. Hopefully you’ll see that with all my industry standard buzz words, found through a Google search, that I can take your seemingly okay company and turn it into a cluster fuck of blaming it on your current hosting situation and lack of a proper scope…but hey, maybe we can work together and you can send us some of your client list!? Cenergy!”
Keith
on 25 Jan 08Wait…you guys don’t appreciate some good biznizese?
JustPixels
on 25 Jan 08Looks like this guy has been reading “David Copperfield’s Guide to Business Communication”. Bleh!
Tomas
on 25 Jan 08Got this from a recruiter a few weeks ago.
Count the buzzwords. Seriously. This demonstrates the ability to have no idea of the technology or role, but still get 2 paragraphs of complete sh*t into the email.
mj1531
on 25 Jan 08Classic.
Whenever you see anything like that, treat it the same as the spam that tries to sell you miracle cures to sexual potency.
@Tomas
Recruiters can be some of the lowest scum in the tech industry. They’re like used-car salesmen who will do anything to sell you a lemon and collect your money. They get paid to place you somewhere; they don’t care about your happiness.
I’ve got recruiters trying to contact me too about “exciting job opportunities” that they cannot go into detail about until I call them back. Nice try, but I’m not that stupid.
JD
on 26 Jan 08I like the way he talks.
SB
on 26 Jan 08He left out “synergy of the marketecture.”
dH
on 26 Jan 08Ha ha :) Short but definitely strong bullshit :)
Chad Sakonchick
on 28 Jan 08Here is the full email I sent to Jason the ignorant:
Jason,
I work for an enterprise level integration company that is looking to attack the long tail of the market for point to point integration solutions. Our first product syncs Salesforce and Quickbooks together (see demo here http://www.pervasivedatasolutions.com/static/demos/datasynch/1/). Part of my job is to investigate possible future products for us to release and I’ve always loved what y’all do with your applications. Are there any requests that you get from customers to link with other applications that we may be able to offer to your customer base?
Thanks,
Chad
Niyaz PK
on 29 Jan 08:)
Jeremy Ricketts
on 29 Jan 08Hey Chad, I think the point about the email (if I may) is that it sounds like a sales pitch right off the line. Would you say that’s true? I think if I was scanning my email on a monday morning and saw this email, I’d assume it was a solicitation fairly quickly because really- who talks like that?
I think the posts here often have an air of cynicism and an esoteric attitude, but I do think that maybe lessons could be learned. Know your audience. Are they straight shooters? Do they get lots of solicitations on a daily basis? Are they a bit cynical? These questions would help you make the quick decision of what tone to take in your email.
I think I have that fault too by the way- of being wordy and overly precise in my emails (especially ones to strangers), so it’s a good lesson.
Chad Sakonchick
on 29 Jan 08Jeremy,
I do understand your point completely. In emails, I like to introduce myself and what my intentions are right off the bat. It may sound like a sales pitch at first (because it is), but it shouldn’t be too hard for someone to finish a 4 sentence email.
I have 37signals customers calling me to ask if we can provide a product like our Salesforce to Quickbooks sync between Basecamp, Highrise and Quickbooks. I in turn contact Jason to feel out his customers’ needs and see if there is a mutual benefit for us and the 37signals’ user base.
Instead of communicating professionally, I get mocked publicly on a high-traffic blog…
Jeremy Ricketts
on 29 Jan 08I do agree with you Chad. Not the most professional thing to do. Like I said, I think you could have picked up on the cynical/mocking tone of 37Signals though if you read through some of the entries here. I’m not making excuses for that though.
I don’t think you deserved to be mocked, but I do think there is a gap in what you and what many young web-entrepreneurs see as “communicating professionally.” As I type this on my lunch break, I’m surrounded by brilliant programmers, designers, and project managers- we’re all wearing t-shirts and jeans, we all get solicited by recruiters on a weekly basis, and we are all tired of hearing about everyone’s Web2.0 ideas that are going to “revolutionize/redefine/etc” this industry or that.
To this generation (whether that includes you, Chad, or not) there is a lower tolerance for corporate-speak and sales pitches. Give me the info. Give it to me straight. Talk like a normal person, and let’s not waste each other’s time.
So I think there’s two lessons here: 1. Know your audience. 2. Say what you mean, short and sweet, and without the buzz.
Hope that didn’t sound like a lecture- this topic has been on my mind as of late.
Chad Sakonchick
on 29 Jan 08I think what continues to bother me about this whole episode is that from editing my email (like a bad reality show), I got lumped into a stereotype that isn’t me. I’m at 27 year-old entrepreneur that was inspired to create his own software partly because of this blog. Over the past three years of trials and tribulations with my own creations; was recruited to a large company who hired me because of my entrepreneurial experience.
Something else I don’t understand is this hatred of so called “buzz words.” People around here don’t like “monetize” and “long tail,” but what the hell is my alternative? Not to mention the hypocritical nature of it all. Why doesn’t everyone try to live a day without using words like tag, web 2.0, AJAX, blog, and SaaS?
As for the for corporate speak, what isn’t straight forward about the first line of my email? It’s a preface/introduction to the rest of the email. Some of my friends that have seen this entry tell me it was lame and sales-pitchy, but so what? It’s one line of a serious inquiry. I once sent a similar email (similar because I like to write formal emails to people I don’t know as I view it as polite) to Seth Godin and Steve Rubel. Steve featured my webapp on his blog and Seth wrote a very polite email back saying he didn’t have time but wished me luck.
But here is something else to think about. As companies like mine try to adapt to new markets, hire more entrepreneurial minds and fund these minds internally with real money made from real sales; how should they communicate? How did Jeff Bezos word his first email to 37signals and how did they respond? I bet it wasn’t with the same cynicism that they’re famous for…
Anonymous Coward
on 29 Jan 08Chad, 37 Signals didn’t “publicly mock” you. The only way anyone knows you sent the email is because YOU commented here with your full name and took responsibility for it.
JF
on 30 Jan 08Chad, I didn’t mention you by name, by company, by title, or share any contact information about you or anything. This was intentional as I meant no harm. I’m just sharing the introduction of the email and my reaction. We often share our impressions - good and bad - about things we see, receive, and interact with.
Some of my friends that have seen this entry tell me it was lame and sales-pitchy, but so what?
“So what?” It matters a lot.
Words matter. Your audience matters. Which words you use, how you use them, where you use them, how you introduce yourself, and how you ease into your pitch—all these matter.
If you called me on the phone and started your pitch the way you started your email I would have told you I wasn’t interested either.
I would also recommend that if you pitch someone by email you mention something related to their company or their products. Your didn’t include a single mention of a 37signals product. You mentioned Salesforce and Quickbooks. When you don’t personalize the email to include a mention of the recipients products it really sounds like a spamy form letter.
My 2 cents.
Naseer Khan
on 30 Jan 08Chad,
I’m in bizdev consulting with a tech background, so I consider myself a hybrid. I understand that you’re trying to use buzzwords such as “long tail” which have specific meaning to the tech savvy crowd and it seems fine at first glance. But it’s like I was trying to explain to my father-in-law once about style vs. gaudy. Too much of a good thing…
Jason,
The frustration I share with Chad (and the intellectual salesperson) is that what he’s offering may be a real solution to you and your customers. But you didn’t let him get past the first overloaded sentence. Is everything an elevator pitch these days…? Reading a four sentence email to see what is being proposed is not too much to ask. But I do agree that the rest of it should have been more connected with 37signals product so it could catch your interest before the Delete button.
At least we know you guys are not wasting time reading spammy emails… Now how about that integration…???
BTW, what about integrating back to my current favorite do-it-all app: iCal?
Scott Yates
on 01 Feb 08The buzzwords are bad, but the thing that drives me batty is the lack of hyphens in the compound modifiers. His message would have been much more readable if he had written:
“I work for an enterprise-level integration company that is looking to attack the long tail of the market for point-to-point integration solutions.”
Ehh. Maybe not.
This discussion is closed.