“Millennials” is the nickname for people born between 1980 and 1995. Last week, 60 minutes ran a story about this generation in the workplace. Here’s what viewers learned about this group from the story:
1. Many Milennials think anyone over 30 can’t be trusted and can’t be counted upon to be coherent.
2. Milennials want to “roll into work with their iPods and flip flops around noon, but still be CEO by Friday.”
3. Milennials need someone to teach them that they should cover up tattoos in the office, “especially if you are going to be meeting clients.” They also need to be taught how to eat with a knife and fork and how to work.
4. Milennials think living with your parents while in your mid 20s is “a very smart, wise, economic decision.”
5. Milennials’ parents sometimes phone HR and say, “But my little Susie or little Johnny didn’t get the performance evaluation that I think they deserve.”
6. The best way to keep Milennials as employees is to offer goofy parades, snoozing in the nap room, and plenty of happy hours. Also, managers should shave their head when a goal is reached. Or be in the dunk tank at the summer picnic. “When a senior manager’s willing to do that is, it says we’re all in it together.”
7. Milennials want employers to send a letter to their parents saying, “You know, Ryan did a great job. Yeah, I just wanted to let you know you raised a fantastic son.”
What a crock of shit.
Are you really telling me that 20 somethings don’t know how to use a knife and fork? (Are they potty trained yet?) And they really want managers to write gold star notes to their parents? And they really want to see their managers in the dunk tank at the summer picnic? Dunk tank at the summer picnic?! Yeah, that’s totally what kids are into these days. What on earth is this story talking about?
The unfortunate part: 60 Minutes is like catnip to old people and many of them probably bought into the whole piece. More fuel for the “these darn kids today” fire that older generations seem to love so much.
I guess it’s a constant cycle. “The greatest generation” is always the one that’s about to die. (Really, who can debate them? There’s no one around to argue that the greatest generation was actually those born between, say, 1620-1650.)
And this older group always thinks the latest generation is made up of lazy do-nothings who don’t understand hard work or discipline. It’s like that old Bill Cosby line: “We had to walk to school, ten miles, in the snow, uphill. Both ways!”
Too bad a respected media source like 60 Minutes is pushing this hokum though. I guess they have to sandwich all those Cialis ads with something that demographic will enjoy.